Inspired by Ron & Mysteria - to the tune of the Beverly Hillbillies Theme Song
Lettttttttt meeeeeeee ... tell ya ‘bout a story of a man named Ron,
The Pip folks blinked, and POOF the man was gone,
He said “To Niagara! I am off to laugh and playyyyyyyyyyyyy" ...
So he loaded up the car, and he drove there all the wayyyyyy.
Miles, that is ...
Welllll theeeee first thing you know he called up Nancy Ness,
The two had a plan which they plotted with finesse,
He said, “I will meet you at Niagara-on-the-Lake!”
And they giggled and they schemed, not a single lone mistaaaaake!
Cool, she was ...
Sly and clever!
Soooooooo Nan said “Girls, we are going to a play”
“It’s called Major Barbara – it’s at the Shaw today.”
She said, “We can sit down, give our feet a little reeeeeeeeest,
But our Sharon wouldn’t have it, so she put her to the teeeeest!
Tried, she did ...
Not a play!
Nowwwwwww Nanners wouldn’t budge, she insisted that they go,
She said, “I won’t cancel it! We’re going to that show!”
She tried to appease her so she said “There’s shopping therrrrrre!”
“You can shop till you drop once it’s over, yup, I swearrrrrrrr!”
Stores, there were ...
Lots to spend!
Welllllll, Sharon’s eyes lit up at the thought of all the stores,
She told Kit to nudge her in the play if she heard snores,
They drove to the lake but were early for the showwwww,
So Nan looked at Kit saying “Take that gal and goooooooooooooo!”
Shopping spree ...
Hang on tight!
Off they went!
Welllllllllll Sharon she went 90, Kit could barely keep the pace,
A shopping spree with Sharon always turned into a race,
So Kit said to Sharon, “I can’t take it any morrrrrrrrrrrre!”
“I’ll go back to the Shaw, while you finish at the storrrrrrrrrre!”
Not much time ...
Don’t be late!
Sooooooooooooo Sharon took off running with a smile a mile wide,
While Kit searched for Nan (thought her feet had nearly died),
She spied Nan conversing with a man who up and rannnnnnnnnnn!
But the look upon Nan’s face, gave away their little plannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!
Ron, it was ...
Wellllllll Kit tackled Ron and she got a great big hug,
She screamed “How’d you do that!?” (then she gave dear Nan a slug!)
When Ron said “Where’s Sharon?” poor ole Kit went almost whiiiiiiiite!
“Oh My God!” She’s gone shopping! All alone!” she said with friiiight!
Gone, that is ...
Could be hours!
Nowwwwwww Nan said “She’ll be here, I have faith in our dear friend.”
“She might have gone off shopping but she’ll be here in the end.”
So Ron followed plans and he snuck inside to hiiiiiiiiiide,
While Nan and Kit sat nervously just waiting there outsiiiiiiiide.
Scared, they were ...
Would she show???
Wellllllll, true to her word, Sharon met them at the front,
Her shopping spree was over and she met them with a grunt,
The girls ushered Sharon to the seats where they should beeeeeeeeeeeeeee,
But instead, sat a man, he was in the way you seeeeeeeeee.
Second seat ...
From the aisle ...
In the way!!!
Wellllllll Sharon didn’t like it and she had a point to prove,
She said it rather sweetly, “Won’t you please get up and move?”
The man just ignored her so Kit said, “I’ll take the aiselllllle.”
While the other gals climbed over that cute man and impish smiiiiiiiiiile.”
Peeved, she was ...
He had nerve!!!
Sooooooooooo Sharon started chatting as they waited for the play,
She rummaged through her pictures and she talked about the day,
The man kept his head down as she chatted over himmmmmmm,
And declined when she asked him if he’d mind to move againnnnnnnnn.
No, he said ...
Can’t do that!
Wellllll Sharon wasn’t happy, but the curtain then came down,
She simmered as it started and she gave the man a frown,
Poor Kit couldn’t take it, she was giggling on the aisllllllle,
She kept nudging Ron, as he winked and gave a smiiiiiiiiile.
Cool, he was ...
One full act!!!
Sooooooo, intermission came, Sharon spoiling for a fight,
Poor Sharon had no clue who was sitting to her right,
She found Kit alone, and she pulled her friend asiiiiiiide,
Saying, “Boy that man is rude! Can you believe it?” She decried!
Move, he will ...
He’ll get his!!!
Welllllll, as the gals were talking, Nan arrived with her new friend,
The man looked at Sharon, tried his best to not offend,
He raised up his hand, in a gesture sweet and kiiiiiiind,
Saying “Since we’re here together, introductions, if you miiiind."
Mind, she thought?
He’s got nerve!!!!
What a man!
Soooooooo Sharon took his hand, and she said her name to him,
He nodded and he said, “My name is Ron.” (and gave a grin),
He wouldn’t let her hand retreat … he held it there awhiiiiiiiile …
Till Sharon’s eyes returned to that impish little smiiiiiiiiiile.
Ron, she said????
Could it beeeee????
Welllllllllll, Sharon stood there stunned for a second as it dawned,
We swear we saw a lightbulb flash when she knew she’d been conned,
She dreeeew back her hand, and she stretched her arms out wiiiiiiiiiiiide,
And she hugged, and she laughed, and she screamed until she criiiiiiied!
Fooled, she was ...
Not a clue!!!!!