I needed something different; life was static, nothing new,
I'd had enough of heartache, and was really feeling blue;
I grabbed the yellow pages on a whim, and looked inside,
And browsed through advertisements till this one ad caught my eye.
It touted plastic surgery, a tantalizing lure,
I wondered if this was for me ... it may just be "the cure";
It said "Rejuvenate Your Life - Revitalize Your Soul",
And so I gathered up my nerve, decided then to call.
"I need some sprucing up!" I said to someone on the phone,
The voice upon the other end said, "Well, you're not alone!"
"We have a special on today, it's called an "Overhaul",
"I'll see if I can fill you in, there's so much to recall."
"The first is a reduction for the worries on your mind,"
"We'll nip and tuck your cares away, effectively you'll find."
"We'll laser off your troubles, trim your burdens down to size,"
"We'll smooth out all your wrinkles that are twisted deep inside."
"We have some dermabrasion that does wonders on your fears,"
"Some liposuction here or there, to soak up all your tears."
"From there, we do an augmentation to your heart and mind,"
"Expand them several sizes to increase them both in kind."
I held the phone out from my ear, looked at it quite confused,
Then brought it back and stated, "What the heck? I'm not amused!"
"I called to have a facelift or a tummy tuck or such,"
"A little something that would lift my spirits, nothing much."
The voice cut in, and said to me, "I know that's why you phoned."
"But there's a better way to lift your spirits," she bemoaned;
"There is no pain at all my dear, no money changes hands,"
"It's free advice I give to all and hope you'll understand."
"If focused on the outside, you will never satisfy,"
"The peace and the contentment that can come from deep inside."
"No ordinary doctor can perform these special tasks,"
"It takes the force within you, and the will to merely ask."
"You have the strength to change your life from outside looking in,"
"Your beauty is your inner self, that's where you must begin."
"Be thankful for the bad days for without, you'd never know,"
"The measure of the joy you have on good days when they flow."
"On days when you have acted out, be sure to make amends."
"Be grateful for your family, acquaintances and friends."
"Be happy with the little things that come into your day,"
"Just be the best that you can be, it is the only way."
She said, "That's all I have, my dear ... I hope that now you know,"
"This number that you called is *Plastic Surgery for the Soul*".