Updated 2015
Worrier For Hire
I worry for a living and I’m told I’m rather good,
A job I’ve had for many years, not widely understood;
I learned so very long ago, this skill for which I’m known,
I take the worries of the world and make them all my own.
I have a knack for worrying … I just internalize,
It matters not the incident, I’ll take on any size;
A drought, a famine, missing dog, a broken heart or two,
I’ll take your worries on myself and I will see them through.
It seems this is my lot in life, the gift I’ve been bestowed,
From bills to heartache, I am here to lighten up your load;
Just let me know your problems, I am here for you to use,
Regardless, I will worry, so there’s nothing left to lose.
It does nobody any good, this worrying, you see,
It only serves to weigh you down and break your sanity;
I’d rather that it just be me … no need for all to hurt,
Just pass your problems on to me and yours will go inert.
I’m really quite experienced, don’t worry that I’m not,
I’ll send you several references (I have an awful lot);
I find it comes quite naturally, my wrinkles will attest,
My customers can sleep at night … it’s “me” who needs the rest.
Oh sure, it takes a toll on me, perhaps it isn’t wise,
But I can’t stop this worrying, I’ve found no compromise;
I know that it’s not easy, many hold on to their fear,
But honestly, I’ll do the job … it is my true career.
See, worrying won’t change a thing; you need to find release,
You may as well just let them go so you can have some peace;
Just pack up all your troubles, make sure everything’s addressed,
I’ll worry if you don’t you know (I’m really quite obsessed!)
So if your worries overwhelm, just pass them on to me,
I’ll fret enough for all of us … and best of all … I’m free!