Two Steps Forward - One Step Where?
"Two steps forward, one step back", the story of my life ...
Not sure I'm making progress here, with all this stress and strife;
In motion though, I always am, that's one good thing I guess,
I just can't find the meaning here, in all life's little tests.
I take a step, a timid one, to check the waters out ...
I try to get my courage up, to quell this mind of doubt;
"I made it! Phew!" That's positive, "OK, one more, let's try!"
A shaky foot moves forward ... but I yank it back and sigh.
"Just give me strength!" I beg aloud, "I'm trying! Can't you see?"
I hesitate and fumble with my inner agony;
I argue back and forth inside these walls that I have built,
I struggle just to come to terms with cards that I've been dealt.
"Let's try again", I hear me say ... I inch ahead a bit;
My foot, it hovers motionless, "Don't let it down just yet!"
A quarrel in my head ensues ... the positive has won!
So there, I place my foot right down ... it's too late now to run.
I look about, to left and right, I quickly scan with eyes ...
To search for something out of skew, to bring upon demise;
I wait to see if skies will fall, or earth to break apart,
Beneath my trembling feet as I take stand there, with my heart.
But all is quiet, all is calm, an eerie peace surrounds
This woeful creature as I hold my breath, where I am bound;
Another moment passes, feel it's been eternity;
I slowly let my breath exhale, "Perhaps this time I'm free!"
But wait! There's something moving, from the corner of my eye,
My heart contracts, I squint to see my nemesis nearby;
It skulks there 'neath the shadows, as I try to get my grip ...
"Don't let it eat you up this time!", I murmur 'neath my lips.
"Stay strong ... take hold!", I clench my fists, and ready for the fight,
Then seconds later, out it flies, straight at me ... all it's might!
"Just hold your ground! Don't move an inch! Don't take that one step back!",
"You've come so far, don't let it know the courage that you lack!"
"Oh Lord!", it's coming closer now, upon me, it would seem ...
The arguments rage deep within my mind, in silent scream;
I raise my foot (a final time), go forward ... or retreat???
For forward lies my future, but if back ... admit defeat.
No seconds left to quarrel now, my foot is perched mid-air,
It lunges, "This is it!" I cry ... and plant my foot right "there".