Letting Go
I watched him from a distance, as he packed his final things,
My little boy was all grown up - he’d cut the apron strings;
I knew that it would come to this ... someday ... sometime ... somehow ...
Yet as I watched from far away, my mind screamed out, “Not now!”
He may be ready, I debated, deep within my heart,
But as his mom, I wasn’t ready for him to depart;
I thought of all the time we’d spent throughout his growing years,
As memories came flooding back, and I choked back the tears.
His face flashed through my mind from darling infant to a man,
Like photograph collages – they played out and then re-ran;
The snapshots in my mind became a blessing and a curse,
As every happy thought still somehow left me feeling worse.
It seemed like only yesterday, I rocked him in my arms,
A lifetime there in front of me to get to know his charms;
I thought of all the milestones we had conquered on the way,
First steps, first tooth, first words – Oh how I treasured every day.
I thought of kindergarten, though so very long ago,
The first of many tears that I would shed while letting go;
I thought of Grade 8 graduation, high school and his prom,
Remembering how proud I always was to be his mom.
I thought of his first romance, and the day he took a job,
(Those other times I’d found that I let out a quiet sob);
Each time I tried to hide the little loss I’d feel inside,
Yet with my mother’s loss, there was my special mother’s pride.
I watched him from a distance and I knew the time had come,
The final box was packed and yet I stood there deaf and dumb;
I couldn’t speak ... my little boy was moving out today,
Who would protect him from the hidden hurts along the way?
He heard me sniff and turned to me, then saw my swollen eyes,
Oh, how I couldn’t fathom how we’d say today’s goodbyes;
He came to me and opened up his arms to comfort me ...
That hug became the sweetest feeling there could ever be.
I whispered I could not believe how quickly time had gone,
My son just let me cry some more as I sniffed off and on;
He told me that his memories were just like yesterday,
And talked about our happy times we’d shared from day to day.
I listened to him comfort me – he knew I wished him well,
He also knew how hard it was to say goodbye as well;
I sighed, “If you need ANYthing, you know that I am here.”
“Don’t you think that I know that mom?” He said, and wiped my tear.
There wasn’t too much more to say – he knew how much I cared,
How much I loved my little boy ... and yes, we both were scared;
We both would have a new perspective, all of that was true,
But all the years of love we’d shared would somehow see us through.
I knew there would be laundry days, and home cooked meals to come,
For after all, there’s some things that can only come from mom;
The best of those however, isn’t money, food or clothes,
It’s making sure that in his heart, he surely, truly knows .......
That never is he far away, and always, I am here,
To welcome him with loving arms or wipe away a tear;
He is my little boy, who grew into a special man,
And though it hurts to let him go ....... I knew that was the plan.